The Breakdown
Today I had an absolute breakdown at the gym. I cried, snot came out of my nose, I was hyperventilating. Why you ask? Because I weighed myself. Its been 3 weeks since I started training with Casey. I've been working muscles that I didn't know I had. When I look in the mirror I can see a change in my body. My arms are smaller, my pants are loose, my back fat is slowly melting away. BUT, the damn scale hasn't moved!!!! I still weigh 238lbs!
I sucked it up and finished my workout but I cried all the way home. I came in the house and decided that maybe being anorexic wasn't such a bad thing and I would just stop eating altogether.
I just don't get it. And don't give me that muscle weighs more than fat bullshyt! I'm not going to be a 238lb bodybuilder. The fat is not coming off! What the hell do I need to do.
4 months have passed and I've only lost 14lbs. That's still 86lbs away from my goal. Even if I wanted to lose just 50lbs before the club opens I'm seriously doubting that its going to happen.
Sigh, its not a good day.
I sucked it up and finished my workout but I cried all the way home. I came in the house and decided that maybe being anorexic wasn't such a bad thing and I would just stop eating altogether.
I just don't get it. And don't give me that muscle weighs more than fat bullshyt! I'm not going to be a 238lb bodybuilder. The fat is not coming off! What the hell do I need to do.
4 months have passed and I've only lost 14lbs. That's still 86lbs away from my goal. Even if I wanted to lose just 50lbs before the club opens I'm seriously doubting that its going to happen.
Sigh, its not a good day.
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