Snack 4/30

Granola Bar - 200

I was absolutely starving!
Why?

I had a big lunch not 3 hours a go.
Why in the hell would I be so hungry?
I drank 2 glasses of water first, just to make sure.

Am I really hungry?

Hell yes!

Water Intoxication

Every weight loss "expert" or guide emphasizes drinking water. The more the better they always say. Well, aside from keeping you in a constant sprint to the bathroom, drinking too much water can be harmful to your health.

"Water poisoning results when too much water is ingested in too short a time without replenishing electrolytes, particularly sodium and potassium.The human body (as with other animals) maintains an equilibrium of electrolytes in the bloodstream as part of its normal operation. Sweating causes the body to lose salt, but the primary cause of hyponatremia is drinking enormous amounts of water, which dilutes the salt in the body to a dangerous level. As the electrolyte levels get dangerously out of balance, body systems begin to fail and the sufferer exhibits signs of crisis such as diarrhea, over-salivation, stupor, vomiting, muscle tremors, confusion, frequent urination and other general symptoms of illness, and their brain begins to swell. This swelling is called a 'brain edema' or 'cerebral edema' and can lead to brain damage, paralysis, and sometimes death."

For More Information

Lunch 4/30

grilled salmon 7oz - 340
2 cups roasted broccoli - 62
1/4 cup (dry) couscous - 132
1 can sparkling water - 0

Total - 534

Breakfast 4/30

Coffee - 100
Whole Wheat Toast - 90
1 tbsp peanut butter - 190

Total Calories - 380

It's Monday!

Well, today is Monday.
Gym day.
Today we did chests, biceps and abs.
I can barely bring my arms together to type.
I have a headache.

I still haven't lost a pound.

Casey says its my metabolism.
I don't eat often enough.

I feel like all I do it eat.
At least all I do is think about food.

I'm drinking coffee now.
10:49am and I've eaten nada.

That's not good, right?

Daily Affirmation 4/30

I love and accept myself.

BalanceBall Chair

How many of you have an exercise ball at home? I do. Its laying in the middle of my floor right now. I've often wondered if my abs would get even more work if I sat on the all day. I try to sit on it and watch tv but I want it to have a backrest. Well guess what! That product now exists!

Get your BalanceBall ChairNOW!

My Goal

This is my goal. This is the picture that I look at and what I aim to return to. Wanna know the funny thing? Back then, in 1998, I thought I was fat!

This is how I looked when Tony and I met. I think in his heart he still sees me like this. But his head knows that I'm about 60lbs heavier. I want to get back to that cute girl that I used to be. I want to be a hot, sexy 35 year old. Not just another statistic.

Celebrity Fit Club

So of course I love Celebrity Fit Club. And who knew that Screech was such an ASS! But I kinda agree with him when he says that he wants to eat what he wants to eat and still lose weight. Yeah, when he says it I realize how stupid it sounds. But who wants to go the rest of their life eating crap that they don't like. It is realistic to say that I'm never going to eat ice cream EVER again? Of course not. And what's the point of going without something until I reach my goal and then starting to eat it again? Isn't that how you gain all the weight back?

I'd like to still eat what I want "in moderation" during this process so that my body doesn't completely freak out when I decide to have a chili dog a year from now.

Am I the only one who thinks I'm just never gonna be happy?

Hip Hop Abs

Today I figured out that maybe 3 hours a week of exercise isn't going to get me to my goal as quickly as I want. So today I did Hip Hop Abs.

I'm one of those people that is truly embarrased by jumping around in my living room to an exercise tape. I really believe there is a hidden camera in here and I'm gonna show up on youtube.

However, I did it! I was sweatin like a freakin pig! And my abs are now killing me!!!!

So this is my new thing. Since my gym workout is M-W-F I'm gonna do this on Tues-Thurs.

So now "Shaun T" is my new boyfriend 2 days a week. He's not as annoying as most exercise folks. He's kinda like a younger, buffer Wil Smith.

Its all trial and error with this stuff!

The Breakdown

Today I had an absolute breakdown at the gym. I cried, snot came out of my nose, I was hyperventilating. Why you ask? Because I weighed myself. Its been 3 weeks since I started training with Casey. I've been working muscles that I didn't know I had. When I look in the mirror I can see a change in my body. My arms are smaller, my pants are loose, my back fat is slowly melting away. BUT, the damn scale hasn't moved!!!! I still weigh 238lbs!

I sucked it up and finished my workout but I cried all the way home. I came in the house and decided that maybe being anorexic wasn't such a bad thing and I would just stop eating altogether.



I just don't get it. And don't give me that muscle weighs more than fat bullshyt! I'm not going to be a 238lb bodybuilder. The fat is not coming off! What the hell do I need to do.

4 months have passed and I've only lost 14lbs. That's still 86lbs away from my goal. Even if I wanted to lose just 50lbs before the club opens I'm seriously doubting that its going to happen.

Sigh, its not a good day.

Tori Spelling on NutriSystem

Tori Spelling was thrilled to welcome son Liam last month – but she wasn't so happy about the weight she put on during her pregnancy.

"I gained 40 lbs.," the Tori & Dean: Inn Love star, 33, tells Entertainment Tonight. "Ideally I'd like to get back to the weight I was at [pre-pregnancy], which was probably around 115."

To that end, she's signed up for the NutriSystem food-delivery program (which she likes because "It's not like you have to go and sit through a boring meeting," she tells ET) and has been spotted jogging with husband Dean McDermott, 41.

But being concerned about her weight is new to her, she says. "I've been lucky. I don't know if it was genetics or age. I would eat healthy at times and pig out at times, but I never had to go on a strict diet plan."

While she was pregnant, she had mixed feelings about her changing body. "I went back and forth," she says. "I would have some days where I would feel really proud of my tummy and walk in front of a mirror and be amazed by it ... and I'd have some days where I felt like a whale. I gained weight in places that I didn't know I could ever gain weight in."

Still, her weight worries haven't dampened her joy at being a new mom. "I'm on cloud nine 24 hours a day," she says.

Body By Bravo: Rebecca's Ab Workout

If you're like me you HATE doing Abs, but LOVE the result of the hard work. Check out this great Ab exercise by SkySport trainer Rebecca.

Romaine & Avocado Salad

This salad is a good healthy start for any meal. It is a quick and easy way to add flavor and nutrition to your meal all year round. The light dressing makes this salad lower in fat than most without losing flavor.

Prep and Cook Time: 10 minutes Ingredients:
1 large head romaine lettuce, outside leaves discarded
1 large tomato chopped
1 small red bell pepper cut in thin julienne, 1 inch long
1/2 small avocado cut into chunks
*Optional: 2 TBS coarsely chopped walnuts

Dressing
2 TBS lemon juice
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
extra virgin olive oil to taste
Salt and cracked black pepper to taste

Directions:
Remove outer leaves of lettuce heads and discard. Cut off tops of leaves and discard. Tops are bitter. Chop remaining inner leaves. Rinse in cold water, and if you have a salad spinner, spin lettuce to dry. If you don't have one, remove as much water as possible in a colander and then dry with paper towels. This will keep the flavor of the salad from getting diluted.

Whisk together lemon juice, vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper in a small bowl and toss with salad greens. Sprinkle with chopped walnuts if desired.

The Worst Part

The worst part about being this weight is that I've totally lost my self confidence. I've always thought I was fabulous! Even being "overweight" I knew I was cute. I turned heads. But now, I'm actually embarrassed to be out. I realize that I stay home and shy away from public outings because I just don't want to be seen.

This is not a good thing! I used to be vain! What the hell is happening to me. I'm actually losing my personality! Shrinking away! This has got to stop!

My New Trick

So I've started drinking V8 Juice. It is so freaking nasty. But it's only 30 calories and I'm hoping that it will help to give me the boost of veggies and fiber that I need. It's also something that I can drink when I'm feeling like I need a snack but no I don't really need one.

I've been trying to count calories. I've decided that 1600 is a good number for me. Most of the time I don't even hit it. Then I realized I've been lying to myself about the true amount of some items. Like my Green Iced Tea. I only count 8oz which is 70 calories but I'm really drinking about 16oz w/each cup. I thought I was eating 3 cups of popcorn when I was really eating 8 cups of popcorn.

Have I really been sabotaging my own weight loss? Am I the reason I'm not losing weight?

I've lost track

Goal for the day: Don't get discouraged b/c I haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks!

I don't know how many days its been now. All I know is that I haven't lost a single damn pound since Aptril 9th. Its so frustrating. I'm busting my ass 3x a week in the gym. I've changed my eating, I'm not drinking soda. I'm doing what they say you're supposed to do and not a damn thing has changed.

I can weigh 238lbs by sitting on the couch. Why do I have to go to the gym and break my neck to stay the same. This is all bullshyt!

Bike/Eliptical - 25 min
Strenght - Lower Body/Legs

Shrimp and Sugar Snap Peas

"Quick and easy pasta dish with a little bite that will make anyone look like a gourmet chef. Adjust the chili oil to your own spice level."

INGREDIENTS
1 (16 ounce) package uncooked linguini pasta
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon chili oil
1 1/2 pounds medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 pound sugar snap pea pods
2 large cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups dry white wine
1/4 cup reserved pasta water
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup chopped fresh basil

DIRECTIONS
Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add linguini pasta, and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente. Drain, reserving 1/4 cup liquid.
Heat the olive oil and chili oil in a wok over medium-high heat. Mix in the shrimp, pea pods, and garlic. Cook and stir 2 minutes, until shrimp are almost opaque. Remove from heat, and set aside.

Pour the wine into the wok, and bring to a boil. Cook until reduced by 1/3. Return shrimp, peas, and garlic to the wok, and stir in the reserved pasta water. Continue to cook and stir until shrimp are opaque. Remove wok from heat, and mix in the butter, lemon juice, and basil. Toss with the cooked pasta to serve.

Gwen Stefani: 'I've Always Been on a Diet'

You can excuse a girl a bit of vanity – even Gwen Stefani. "If you had paparazzi outside your house, you'd make sure you looked good, too," the singer and fashion designer tells Harper's Bazaar in its May issue.

Stefani, 37, says she was "dying to get out of the house" when she was pregnant last year, but says: "I had to sneak into the back of my brother Todd's car – eight months pregnant – and lie down on the floor. Just so we could go to Target."

Baby Kingston was born in May 2006 and Stefani immediately set about losing her pregnancy pounds. "It's so much work afterward to get the weight off," she says. "If you just do it, it comes off. And when you're nursing, like I am, your metabolism is like whoosh!" Still, Stefani admits that she struggled to keep her size 4 figure even before her pregnancy. "I hate talking about it, but it's true," she says. "I've always been on a diet, ever since I was in the sixth grade.

It's an ongoing battle and it's a nightmare. But I like clothes too much, and I always wanted to wear the outfits I would make." She adds with a laugh: "And I'm very vain." She says she contents herself with "all the healthy stuff" most of the time, "but I let myself cheat once or twice a day with a cookie or pizza." Stefani can expect quite a workout when she embarks on her two-month U.S. tour to promote her new album, The Sweet Escape, on April 21 in Las Vegas. After that? Well, she did tell Ellen DeGeneres in February she was "ready to go" for another child.

"Now I'm in a repeater zone," she confirms to Bazaar. "I just want to make babies and make records." Luckily, she's got help from her husband of more than four years, Gavin Rossdale. "I even wrote in a song, 'You seem like you'd be a good dad,' " she says. "So, yeah he's lived up to my expectations, more than. He has always been very loving and romantic."

Day 102

Casey hurt his back at the gym on Monday so he isn't going to work out for the rest of the week. So I've asked him to be my trainer this week to keep me motivated and switch it up a little bit.

So I did my 20 min on the bike and then we did weights. It was a different work out. Maybe I can SHOCK this body into faster weight loss!

Let's do it!

Day 99

Today is the Monday after Easter. I haven't had a coke in what, like 46 days. I weighed myself at the gym this morning and I've actually broken the 240lb barrier! I'm at 238 now. I'm very excited about the fact that I've actually lost some weight. I'm down 14lbs now. Maybe there is something to this diet and excercise thing after all.

However, I still think its coming off too slowly. What the hell!